John 15:12-17: A Community of Love

John 15:12-17: A Community of Love

Please turn with me in your Bible to John 15. If you’re using the Story Bibles we provide, that’s on page 747. We’ve been going through the Gospel of John passage by passage. And this morning, the next passage we come to is John 15:12-17. John 15:12-17: 12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another. 

One of my favorite Christmas memories from growing up is that, one year, I remember my dad had us do something quite unique before we opened our gifts on Christmas morning. And at the time, I didn’t fully understand why we he had us to this, but looking back, I think it was a pretty neat idea. Before we opened our presents, we spent about 15 or 20 minutes praying for people across the world who were in need, especially persecuted Christians. We actually looked up information about a few specific countries where Christians are often persecuted and prayed for the welfare of the Christians in those countries. And the reason we did that is because my dad was trying to steer us away from the tendency many children have, especially around Christmastime, to be very absorbed in themselves and their own wants and the material things they’re hoping to receive. And having our family pray for the needs of persecuted Christians was my dad’s way of getting us kids to think about the welfare of other people instead of being focused merely on ourselves. 

However, being focused on ourselves isn’t just a problem kids have around Christmastime. It’s really a problem that most people have much more often than we’d like to admit. For example, how many times have you heard someone say that they just need to learn to “love themselves” more? That’s why they think they’re having the problems they’re having. They just don’t love themselves enough. Even though Jesus taught that the entire Law can be boiled down to two commands—love God and love others—a lot of people think it should really be three commands—love God, love others, and love yourself. Or maybe just love others and love yourself—but definitely love yourself. That’s what people think. From the intellectual leaders of society all the way down to the clerk at 7/11, there’s this idea that loving yourself is essential for being healthy as a person. Many of your personal problems can be eliminated if you’ll simply learn to love yourself. 

Interestingly, however, the Bible doesn’t tell us that we love ourselves too little. It says that we actually love ourselves too much. We spend too much of our energy thinking about ourselves. Instead, the Bible says, we need to grow in love for God and for others. Notice that when Jesus says in Matthew 22:39 that the second greatest commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself,” he’s not commanding us to love ourselves. He’s simply assuming it. In other words, he’s saying, “Let’s just assume you already love yourself enough. In fact, you probably love yourself more than enough. So here’s what I want you to do: Love your neighbor as yourself.” That’s what we need to work on. Not self-love but neighbor-love. That’s the biblical perspective. And Jesus makes a very similar point here on our main text in John 15. Jesus commands us to love one another the way he has loved us. That’s the main idea here. Jesus commands us to love one another the way he has loved us. That’s pretty much a quote of verse 12. 

And notice in verse 12, he sets that up by calling it his “commandment.” He states, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” So the fact that he calls this “my commandment” implies that this commandment is pretty central. Among all the other commandments of Jesus, this commandment enjoys a unique and privileged position to such an extent that Jesus calls it “my commandment.” Not “one of my many commandments” but “my commandment.” And if we go farther in John 15, we see that there are two characteristics of the love he commands. And we’ll spend most of the rest of our time looking at these two things. First, loving involves giving. And second, loving involves knowing. 

Loving Involves Giving

So first, loving involves giving. And here’s where we get our first clue that loving involves giving. Right there in verse 12, how does Jesus describe the way we should love one another? “As I have loved you,” he says. “Love one another as I have loved you.” And of course, the first thing I think of when I think of the way Jesus has loved us is the gospel—the fact that Jesus gave his own life in order to rescue us from sin. Loving involves giving. And Jesus actually goes on to talk very specifically about the idea of giving your life for people you love and uses your willingness to do that as a measurement of how much you love them. Look at verse 13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” In other words, the greatest love is the love that gives the most. The more you’re willing to give for somebody, the more you love them. Loving involves giving—even giving your own life, Jesus says.

Think about the way a mother gives her life, in a sense, for her children. She may not literally die for them, but there’s definitely a sense in which she still gives her life for them. I just think of my wife, Becky, and all of the things she has given up and regularly gives up for our children. She’s given up having a career—at least for this season of her life. She’s also given up some aspects of her health since her three pregnancies have really taken a toll on her physically and brought on some physical ailments she didn’t used to have. And then, on a regular basis, Becky gives up her time, her attention, her energy, and hours of her sleep every night so that she can care for the three children God’s blessed us with. They are a blessing, but Becky is certainly making a sacrifice. She’s laying down her life. And the reason she’s laying down her life is because she loves our kids. Loving involves giving. And Jesus says that as believers, we’re supposed to love one another in a similar way—even to the point, as radical as it sounds, that we’re willing to lay down our lives for each other. And in some ways, we should be laying down our lives for each other on a regular basis. We should be giving to one another—giving time, giving energy, giving help, giving encouragement, giving in whatever ways God provides opportunity for us to give. Giving to one another as a church is part of truly loving one another. 

And the motivation behind us giving ourselves in this way is that we care about one another’s welfare. That’s what biblical love is. It’s caring about the welfare of others. In a sense, you could even say that when you love somebody in the biblical sense of that word, you’ve chosen to make your happiness dependent on their happiness. J. I. Packer brings this out in a brilliant way in his book Knowing God. As he’s talking about the love God has for us, Packer observes that even though God’s ultimate purpose, according to the Bible, is his own glory, he has at the same time chosen to love human beings. And in choosing to love human beings, Packer says, God has “voluntarily bound up his own final happiness with theirs.” Packer continues, “It is not for nothing that the Bible habitually speaks of God as the loving Father and Husband of his people. It follows from the very nature of these relationships that God’s happiness will not be complete till all his beloved ones are finally out of trouble….God was happy without humans before they were made; he would have continued happy had he simply destroyed them after they had sinned; but as it is he has set his love upon particular sinners, and this means that, by his own free voluntary choice, he will not [have] perfect and unmixed happiness again till he has brought every one of them to heaven. He has in effect resolved that henceforth for all eternity his happiness shall be conditional upon ours.” Does that not blow your mind? For God to love us means that even though he was originally perfectly complete and satisfied in himself, he’s voluntarily made his happiness conditional upon ours. He’s allowed his own happiness to be bound up in ours.

And not only did he bind his happiness to ours, he demonstrated just how much he cared about our happiness—just how much he loved us—when he gave his own Son to die on our place. Remember, we said that loving involves giving. The measure of love is how much it gives. And God loved us so much that when he saw our wretched condition—the fact that we stood guilty and condemned because of our sin—he gave his own Son to save us. And Jesus hints at that in our text. Verses 13-14: “13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.” So Jesus says that if we do what he commands, we show ourselves to be his friends. And from the previous verse, he seems to be implying that he loves his friends so much that he lays down his life for them. And interestingly, just a few hours after Jesus uttered these words, that’s exactly what he did. Jesus died on the cross. And the reason Jesus died on the cross was to make atonement for our sins—to bear the guilt and the punishment for our sins and thereby satisfy the justice of God. And Jesus then rose up out of the grave, victorious, triumphant, and able to save all who will come to him. That’s the gospel. It’s a message of love—and more specifically, of self-giving love. 

And that’s the kind of love God calls us to have for one another. He wants our happiness, in a sense, to be so bound up in the happiness of our Christian brothers and sisters—he wants us to love them so much—that we’re willing to lay down our lives for them. And even if we never get the opportunity to literally do that, who can deny that we have plenty of opportunities to sacrificially give to one another in various ways? Of course, that includes giving materially. The book of Acts records that among that first Christians, there were no needy people among them because they gave their possessions to one another so generously. And also, we frequently have the chance to give our time to others. Perhaps, that’s even the most common way we can give. Are you willing to use your time and even—dare I say it—rearrange your schedule so you can be available when a Christian brother or sister needs you? Maybe they simply need someone to talk to. Maybe there’s a sin they’re struggling with, a situation that’s stressing them out, a decision they need to make, or a shoulder they need to cry on. Will you make yourself available for them—and even take the initiative to offer your time before they have to ask? Loving involves giving.

Loving Involves Knowing

Then secondly, not only does loving involve giving, it also involves knowing. That’s the second characteristic of love we see in our text. Loving involves knowing. Look at what Jesus says in verse 15: “15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” So Jesus says, “I’m not just calling you servants anymore; I’m calling you friends. And here’s how you know I really view you as a friend: ‘all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.’” In other words, God’s allowed us really know him. He hasn’t kept us at an arm’s length but has instead brought us in and allowed us to know him. And that’s one of the ways he loves us. 

And if we’re going to love one another as believers, that’s something that has to happen within our church as well. We have to know each other and pursue authentic relationships with each other. So often, it seems like we follow our culture in putting up walls around ourselves. We’re good at the surface-level chit chat, but we really have trouble opening up to one another and showing people the real us. Instead, many times, we’re careful to only show people the side of us that we want them to see. I saw a hilarious post on Facebook this past week from a comedian making fun of the Christmas cards we often send. We’ll often send a Christmas card of our family that makes it seem like everything in our lives is just perfect. And so, this comedian posted a picture of what he called an “honest Christmas card.” He’s how it sums up this family’s year: “LANDON: Our precocious and super annoying 3yr old. Whines all the time and doesn’t go to sleep when he’s told. Cries when he doesn’t get Gushers after dinner. Most of the artwork he brings home from church nursery is awful. Our pride and joy (and source of our drinking problem). HUNTER: Our energetic yet surprisingly unathletic 9yr old who just got cut from a soccer team that doesn’t even keep score in their games, I know…how does that even happen?! Spends most of his time on his iPad and said his first swear word this year! Super exciting! MADDY: Age 18…goes over her data each month on her cell phone. Was grounded for two weeks this Fall after she snuck a guy in her window to ‘watch a movie.’ Got fired from Sefora after telling her boss ‘just because I’m on the schedule doesn’t mean I have to shop up.’ Wants to drop out of school to become Insta famous. TOM AND LISA: Somehow still married after 41 years. Tom still tucks his t-shirts into his jeans and just took money from our retirement account to buy a fishing boat. His golf shoes are still currently on the steps after I told him three times to take them upstairs. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE ALLEN FAMILY!!!”

Now I’m not sure I would write a Christmas card like that, but we all understand why that’s so funny. It’s so opposite of the way we often portray ourselves. We want people to think that we have it all together—that we’re on top of everything. So we’re careful to only show them the side of us we want them to see. And we’re usually content with them only showing us the side of them they want us to see. But if we’re really going to love each other, we have to know each other. We have to push past the superficiality that so often characterizes relationships and really get to know each other. Because if you don’t know the people around you, how do you think you’ll be able to love them in any significant way? How do you think you’ll be able to support them through a difficult time if you don’t know them well enough to know that they’re going through a difficult time? How will you be able to speak truth into their lives if you’re not exactly sure which truths they need to hear? How will you encourage them if you don’t know the sources of their discouragement? If we don’t know each other, we can’t love each other. We have to know in order to love. 

Conclusion

So to sum up, Jesus commands us to love one another the way he has loved us. And we do that by giving and by knowing. However, if we’re really going to love like Jesus loves, that kind of love has to be given to us. God is the one who has to put that in our hearts. Remember the context of Jesus’ instructions here in John 15. In the previous passage, he’s just talked about how we need to abide in him the way a branch abides in the vine. In verse 4, he says, “As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” So abiding in Christ is the only way we’ll ever bear the fruit of love he’s describing in our main text. Only as we look to his example and draw from his power can we exhibit his love.  

And if we’ll do that, think about the impact we can have. You know, a couple of chapters back, Jesus said something very similar to what he says in our main text, but with an important thought added on. In John 13:34-35, he says, “34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. [That’s pretty much exactly what he says in our main text. But look at what he says after that.] 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” When we love one another, people take notice. So think about the impact we can have if people see our church truly loving each other the way Jesus has loved us—truly being what I’ll call a community of love. 

Maybe you’ve been thinking this whole time about exhibiting the love of Christ individually—in your individual life. And that’s certainly an important thing to think about. But notice in verse 12 that when Jesus tells his disciples to “love one another,” there are very strong communal overtones there. Loving one another is something we do together—as a community of believers. And that, I believe, adds a whole new dimension to our gospel witness. It’s not just us individually loving the people we encounter. Rather, it’s us as a church showing a special and unique kind of love for one another and being a community of love. I believe that’s an exponentially more powerful gospel witness than anything we could do individually. 

Here’s what I mean. And I’ve used an illustration like this once before, but I think it bears repeating. Take a moment and put yourself in the shoes of someone who’s never been to church and is slightly skeptical about Christianity.

How do you think they might respond if a Christian said to them, “Jesus has changed my life”? What would they think? How might they respond? I think for many non-Christians, it would be kind of like someone coming up to them and saying, “Hey look, I’ve been eating these magical beans, and they’ve changed my life.” And that might seem like a silly comparison to you—perhaps even a bit irreverent—but I think that’s really the way many non-Christians think. Our society as a whole is very skeptical towards Christianity. Christianity has about as much credibility to them as a pile of magical beans. So, play along with me here. Put yourself in their place. How would you respond if someone said, “I’ve been eating these magical beans, and they’ve changed my life”? Personally, I might smile and say, “Hey, that’s great,” but I wouldn’t take it that seriously.

But let’s say the person had a life that I found very attractive. I observed them in different situations giving honest answers even when they could have lied and made their life a lot more convenient. I observed them helping other people and being generous towards them even when those people were in no position to return the favor. I observed them demonstrating kindness toward people even when people did them wrong. And I just observed a joy and gladness and most of all a love within them that’s sort of mysterious and difficult to put into words. And so, if a person has a life like that, and they come up to me and say, “Hey look, I’ve been eating these magical beans, and they’ve changed my life,” I’m gonna think about it a little bit. I’m gonna ask myself, “Could it be that these beans really do have magical powers?” And it’s at least going to arouse my curiosity, even if I don’t actually try the beans. Now, if I’m going through an exceptionally difficult time in life, I might get desperate enough to try the beans, but under normal circumstances, I’m probably gonna conclude that my friend is just a really great guy who has exceptional character and a phenomenal personality, and he just thinks that those beans he’s eating are magical and are making him the way he is. But in reality, he’d still be that way even without the beans.

But let’s say that there wasn’t just one bean-eater living an incredibly attractive life. Let’s say there was an entire community of bean-eaters, and they all had lives unlike anything I’d ever seen before. And they didn’t just exhibit their character qualities individually. No, they really loved each other and cared for each other and enjoyed such a love in their group that made me want what they had. The love of Christ was real in their midst. I don’t know about you, but that would probably convince me to at least try these so-called magical beans. Even if the idea of magical beans seemed silly to me at first, I would probably at least try them if I saw a group of people living lives and exhibiting a kind of love that I had never seen before. 

So yes, loving people as an individual is a powerful witness. But I believe the power of your witness increases exponentially when you’re part of a community of believers and Christ’s love is real in that community. Because the fact is that we’ve been changed by something far superior to some kind of magical bean. We’ve been changed by God. And my prayer is that we’d be able to live like the new people that we are and live that way together. My prayer is that Redeeming Grace Church would be a community of love—that the first thing guests would notice even when they casually join us for a worship service is that we love one another in a way and on a level that they’ve never seen before—that from the moment they enter the building they would just sense the love of Christ in our midst.